What are the Patsy Ratings, you ask?
The Patsy Ratings are the methodology Lafayette superfan Carney once created in an attempt to determine who had the "best" incoming class.
In his words:
"At the outset let me say that this is one big heap of crapola. If anyone thinks that he or she can rate 18 and 19 year old high school football players or declare one group of these kids superior to another is delusional. This, however, is an attempt to do just that, so what does it say about me? Many of you will take issue with the methodology or will rail against the outcome because you “know” that [fill in the name of your favorite school] had its best recruiting year ever. I invite you to post your criticism. Even more, I invite you to give us something better. It’s easy to say “you’re wrong.” It is much more difficult to find a better way and actually create the results."
It was Carney that first got the mysterious Committee together, to agree on the common system that is the Patsy Ratings. In my reading of it, the Committee came up with this rules in an old, walnut wood-adorned conference room. You could smell the cigar smoke as you take the original rules out of the desk in the corner.
The paper is very difficult to read, with many sentences crossed out and redacted with black ink. Scrawls saying "Scout? Yes" and "Long snapper doesn't count" and "Schollies!!!!" appear, sometimes with little star stickers on the parts that were particularly contentious.
Deciphering these scrolls of (some might say) wisdom resulted in this definition below of what the Patsy Ratings are. The best part of this system is that it is reproducible - though there are a few subjective pieces, most of the Rating can be recalculated at home.
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